[Aug 06] 4. My Only Regret

Fitting title. This is a day late. My friend from my hometown visited yesterday, and to celebrate we had a drink. I had one too many. Woke up this morning with the hangover of the century. I couldn't get this entry in yesterday since a friend was visiting, but I have left it so incredibly late today because I feel like death warmed up and then some! Never will I drink as much as I did last night. Lesson learned. Phew.

My Only Regret

I have two regrets - one being how much I drank last night - but the other one is getting a D in Psychology. This has a bit of a back story to it so I will explain that first. If you are already aware of how things work here, skip this! Also, this is really long so if you cannot be bothered to read it all, check out the TL;DR at the end!

As you may or may not already know, I hail from the UK. In order to get into University here, you have to do A-Levels. Now, the British schooling system is really confusing, so much so that not even us Brits really understand it. You see, although this has changed now, we leave/left school at 16. We could either go off and get a job or stay on at school, by either going to 6th form or college. I am not sure what the difference is, well in fact there is no difference, they're both the same thing except 6th form is generally an extra two years at your high school, whereas college is an independent institution. Like for example, I went to College, whilst my friends stayed on at 6th form. So, I went to a whole new school and they just did their A Levels at our high school. I wonder if that makes any sense.

Any way, at College/6th form we do A Levels. A Levels are basically just qualifications we need to get into University. They are usually academic subjects, such as the Sciences, Maths, English, Psychology, Sociology - so on and so forth! People usually pick their A Levels based on what they want to study at University. Although it's not required, it is kind of like an unwritten "tip", it's best to choose A Level subjects which apply to your degree - like for example, someone wanting to International Relations may choose to study a Foreign Language, Politics and English. All of which are "essay" subjects, quite academic and can easily be applied to IR. However, in order to get accepted into University, we have to hit certain grades. For example, the course I wanted to do was Japanese at Newcastle University (which is in my hometown). I needed ABB, so I had to aim for ABB. (Although it got lowered because I did a summer school program so only had to get BBC). This is the same for every student ever doing their A Levels. Everyone has to hit certain grades to make sure they can get a place at University.

Start reading here if you skipped it! ;)

OK, now you are all caught up with the system, I can go on with why it is one of my greatest regrets in life. As I mentioned before, in order to get on my course, I needed to pass my exams and get the grades BBC. In college I took English Language, Psychology and Communication and Culture. Throughout my two years there, English Language and Communication and Culture were my strong subjects - we would do mock exams and I would get Bs, sometimes the occasional A. However, I was terrible at Psychology, even though it was the subject I was most interested in. You see, when it comes to A Level exams, although it is marked how much you know, it is also marked on exam technique - something I just could not understand in Psychology.

The exam technique we had to follow was very confusing. It was something like, you need to state a claim about the Psychology study, then support it, then show a contrasting argument, then conclude. It sounded easy enough but for some reason, no matter how much I studied or practiced, I could not get it down. Yet, in English and Communication and Culture, the exams were easy. I wrote essays all the time in those subjects and got full marks. But Psychology... I just couldn't do it.

I spent every single waking moment studying Psychology. We had to remember around 20-something studies. They weren't in depth but we just needed to know the very basics, such as what was the aim? Who did it? What did they find out? That part was easy. But it was just writing about them and discussing the ethics, the validity... I remember being so worried for my exam.

But along came exam day, if I recall correctly it was my first exam. As in, out of all exams I had to do, Psychology was first.

...And it was awful.

I remember putting my pen down after two hours of frantically writing and just knowing I had failed it. Worst feeling in the world.

Fast forward a couple of months, results day. Now, I needed BBC to get into University. Usually on results day, we can find out if we have got into Uni before even getting our results, since it is all done online. I remember waking up and finding that I could check my English results online as well, so I decided to check those. I got a B. I was two marks off an A. I was off to a great start! I remember feeling really optimistic as I headed off to college to get my results.

I opened up the envelope...

English... B
Communication and Culture... B

Psychology... D

And my heart sank. I knew it. I couldn't even get a blasted C in that awful subject! 

But, that was just my results. I still had hope. So before I ripped up the paper and sat down in a corner to cry, I checked online what decision the University had made.

Unsuccessful.

Ah, alas... and like that, my dreams of studying Japanese at Newcastle University were flushed down the drain. My friend recommended that I ring them, since I had done summer school and passed, they said I could maybe try and see if there was anyway I could change their minds. Also, it was said in summer school that if we didn't get the grades we wanted, we could ring up and appeal. So I did just that.

I took a deep breath and rang the University. A woman answered, and I explained my situation. 

She kindly explained that the University really wanted to offer me a place but just couldn't. The course was already full. I was only a few marks off getting a C, so they felt I still deserved a place, but just couldn't give me it.

I said Thanks, and hung up. It's not all too bad. At least they considered me.

And that is my only regret. I wish I had have studied harder. I wish I had have perfected my exam technique. If I could back and change time, I would dedicate all my time to Psychology. I already did that but I would dedicate even more time.

However, I say that... and yet, my life now is actually a lot better. I had to take a gap year, in which I worked at a part time job and studied Japanese. I met my now boyfriend, and I now live in Leeds studying my second dream course, Computer Animation and Special Effects. So it's not all bad. Haha. Everything happens for a reason.

TL;DR

I needed the grades BBC to study Japanese at a University in my home town. I got BBD. If I could go back in time, I would study harder and get BBC. But then, I am really happy with my life right now and wouldn't change it for anything. It's funny how things work out!